So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
