This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
