So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
