i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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