Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
