You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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