Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
