Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
