Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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