Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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