I wish they made helmets for livers.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
