so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
