Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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