We're like a lot better than the average bears
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
