Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
