I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
