god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
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I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
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Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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