He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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