Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
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My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
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Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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