Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
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Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
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I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.