thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
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And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
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Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?