I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
