Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever