I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.