I just saw a hot homeless man
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
