Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.