Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

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  (214): Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. http://tfl.nu/p67s
  Replies (179) Good night (85888) Bad night (3074) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.

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  (575): This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai. http://tfl.nu/0dst
  Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (3033)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar

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  (917): you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar http://tfl.nu/kodl
  Replies (29) Good night (6939) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.

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  (703): The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe. http://tfl.nu/6izf
  Replies (17) Good night (4094) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..

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  (630): Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.. http://tfl.nu/pq67
  Replies (7) Good night (3867) Bad night (1536)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out

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  (540): You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out http://tfl.nu/n0iw
  Replies (9) Good night (847) Bad night (3431) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?

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  (916): craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/76bu
  Replies (16) Good night (8340) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.

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  (515): IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard. http://tfl.nu/ob2l
  Replies (1) Good night (810) Bad night (1664) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg

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  (860): nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg http://tfl.nu/ezvc
  Replies (5) Good night (3181) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.

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  (202): He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message. http://tfl.nu/bw67
  Replies (10) Good night (1533) Bad night (819)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons

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  (917): You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons http://tfl.nu/5vf8
  Replies (3) Good night (1094) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky

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  (514): its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky http://tfl.nu/m4rl
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.

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  (440): Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin. http://tfl.nu/2sax
  Replies (12) Good night (849) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.

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  (425): She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude. http://tfl.nu/4r57
  Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me

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  (270): I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me http://tfl.nu/n5ey
  Replies (1) Good night (382) Bad night (139) Order T-Shirt

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