They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
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She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER