Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
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I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
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I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.