I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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