C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
