doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
her vagine was all disorganized.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
