you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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