Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
soo... how was my night?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
