Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
