im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
