my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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