I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
