Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
