12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
