brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
