Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
