He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
