Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
