I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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