the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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