You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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