just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so let's talk penis.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
