I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Holy sore nipples Batman
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
