How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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