Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
