At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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