It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
