So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
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I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
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I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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