Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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