Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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