Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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