Kiss
Puke
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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