We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
