when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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