Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize