i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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