I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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