:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
