did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Congratulations! We have a period
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