how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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